Happiness Is a Choice

Another good one from the book, "Chicken Soup for the Dental Soul."

Happiness Is a Choice

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."
- Hugh Downs

Sometimes we learn more from our patients than we teach. For me, that patient was Sue. Every morning, my staff and I go through the patient list for the day. We discuss treatment preparation, supplies needed, and pertinent information for each patient. One day while looking through the schedule, Nancy, my office manager, noted that Sue Spandler was coming in. "Everyone be extra nice to Sue today," Nancy said. "She's going through a rough time. Her husband, Bill, has advanced rheumatoid arthritis and it has begun to affect his lungs."

"I didn't know that arthritis could affect your lungs," piped in Ellen, my assistant.

"Yes," I answered. "The lungs need flexibility to expand and contract so that air can flow in and out. As the arthritis progresses, the flexibility is lost. The lungs can't fill with oxygen or squeeze out the carbon dioxide."

"Oh, she must be so scared," said Ellen.

"Not just scared," said Nancy; "the poor woman must be exhausted. Bill can't stay in one position for more than a few hours without pain and stiffness. Sue has to get up several times each night to wake him and help him move around. She hasn't had a full night's sleep in months."

We all decided to spend a few extra minutes with Sue that day trying to make her comfortable and offer kind words. It is our custom to give a fresh flower to each patient as they leave. Since Sue's appointment was late in the day, we decided to give her not just one flower, but all the flowers left from the bouquet. We just wanted to do something to brighten her day.

Late in the afternoon as I looked at my schedule, I realized that Sue was me next patient. I took a deep breath and tried to steel myself for what I might find. What I expected was a woman with the joy of life sucked out of her... dark circles under her eyes... little care for makeup or fancy clothes. I expected the drooped posture of a person worn down by exhaustion and sadness. Imagine my surprise as I entered the oporatory to find a perky, energetic woman with a broad smile on her face. She had a funky new hairstyle, bright eyes, and rosy cheeks. She wore a royal blue jacket over a crisp white blouse. Puffed around her neck was a silk scarf splashed with every color in the rainbow.

"Oh excuse me," I mumbled as I hastily exited the room. Finding Ellen, I asked, "What happened to Sue? Did she cancel? Why wasn't the schedule updated? Who is in room 3? Where's the new chart?"

"That is Sue, Doctor," Ellen laughed. "Go talk to her. You'll be surprised."

Confused, I walked back into the room. "Sue?" I asked, "How are you? You look wonderful."

"Hi Doctor Teri," Sue replied, "I am excellent. Bill and I just got back from a trip to Florida. We went to Disney World and had a blast. We put a Goofy hat on his oxygen tank, stuck it in a stroller, and wheeled that thing around like proud parents! You should have seen Bill screaming through his oxygen mask as we rode down Splash Mountain. I never laughed so hard in my life. When he couldn't walk, I pushed him in a wheelchair. With the wheelchair, we were able to get to the front of every line. It was great!

"It sounds like Bill is doing much better. That's wonderful."
"

He's really not," Sue replied. "His arthritis gets worse each day. I don't know how much time he has left, but then, none of really knows, do we."

"Oh Sue, I'm so sorry. This must be absolutely awful for you."

"Awful?" she said confused. "I've never been happier in my life. Every morning when I open my eyes I see the man I love next to me. I get to spend the entire day with him- something we never got to do when we were both working or the children were small. When I lie down at night with my hand resting in his, my husband's beautiful face is the last thing I see before I close my eyes. Why be sad that he's dying? I chose to be happy he's alive."

We gave Sue the flowers when she left, all of us suddenly counting our blessings. "Life is a lot like these flowers, you know," Sue said "Now is the time to enjoy the bloom! There'll be plenty of time later to lament the withering."

-Teri Steinbreg, DDS